


Crazy 2

by anticipatewrites



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-28 00:03:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15036230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anticipatewrites/pseuds/anticipatewrites
Summary: Dean had it pretty rough when Sammy left for Stanford and it was just him and John gankin' evil shit. He's ebbing lower and lower until, while on a case, he meets a girl that he will never forget. They only get one night together, but he carries the memory of it and her in his heart for his whole life.





	Crazy 2

**Author's Note:**

> A/n: I just really love this piece and I had so much fun getting in Dean's head and using his voice to tell the story. This is the companion piece to Crazy, which is written from the female perspective.

Crazy (as told by Dean)

Dean’s perspective:

You ever have one day, not even a day, just a few hours, that you keep in the back of your mind and think about from time to time to remind yourself that maybe, just maybe, your whole life hasn’t just been one big shit show after another? That there was at least one tiny bright light, one moment you felt whole? Felt like maybe It was gonna be ok someday? Probably wouldn’t really admit It out loud, but I got one a those. I don’t think about that night all the time, but when I really need a win and it's feelin’ like my last night on Earth, I let myself remember her. Reach way back in that place in my heart where I keep the things that get me through. 

Back when Sammy was off doin’ his college boy thing and it was just me and dad gankin’ evil sons of bitches, we got a heads up on a shifter in Tennessee. Drove for two days, damn near straight through. Sammy leavin’ us had dad’s bloodlust goin’ full throttle. Just hunt after hunt. Most nights we stayed at the Winchester Motel, woke up to the sun shinnin’ off the hood, on to the next job. Some nights it was just me, though, alone in the backseat. When dad would push too hard and I got a little more banged up than usual he'd stitch me up, throw me a burger and some painkillers and stumble off to the nearest bar to drink away the guilt. Those were the times that I felt the worst. Not just on the outside, seemed like my whole goddamn world was gone. That was always when I'd finally break down and try to call Sammy. He’d never answer. Every time his voicemail would beep, felt like another kick in the gut. So I'd lay on that old leather seat feelin’ like half of me was just missin’. I'd take the painkillers and wake up the next mornin’ and try to man up for dad. More time that went on, though, it got harder and harder to pretend I was ok. To soldier on and accept the fact that the brother I had protected and raised had chosen to leave me. So when we finally pulled into that little town in Tennessee, I was at one of the lowest places I've ever been. 

 

Dad went off to the police station, told me to go hit up the locals for info and meet back at the shitty Motel he'd sprung for, for once. So I headed down the main drag in town, lookin’ for a bar or some place the locals might be this time of night and I see a bunch of kids hangin’ out in a parking lot. Looked promising. So I pulled in and started askin’ questions. ‘Bout that time I felt a tap on my shoulder, so I turned around and there she was. Five foot nothin’ in tight jeans and cowboy boots, tellin’ me she'd answer my questions if I beat her in a race down the strip. Said she wanted a ride in my car if she won. Blew me away. The girl was half confidence, half innocence with a raised eyebrow and a sideways grin. Figured she had one beast of a ride stashed around there somewhere. Then she walked over to this old Dodge Ram with half the paint missin’ off the rear end and just fuckin’ winked at me, man. You ever had one of those moments where you can feel everything change? I knew right then and there that I was gonna lose that race if I had to take a goddamn shotgun to all four of my tires. 

 

So we pulled up beside each other at the light and I rev the engine. She looked over at me and gave me this little wave and honked the horn. Like, toot toot! I'm tellin’ ya, cutest goddamn thing I've ever seen. Still can't keep from smilin’ when I think about it. Anyway, the light turns green and I'm thinkin’ she's gonna fishtail ‘cause of that light back end and I figured I'd just hang tight for a second and let her dig in, but damn if that old beast didn't just eat fucking pavement, man. She was a half a block ahead of me an’ I gotta say, I was impressed. Ol’ Baby caught up, though, an’ I almost passed her at the crest of the hill. Cop car sittin’ in a parking lot made me take my foot offa the gas for a second and she was gone. Beat me fair and square, would ya believe it? I pulled into the gas station at the end of the street behind her. She hopped down outta that truck smilin’ ear to ear, hair floppin’ around everywhere. Her friends were all cheerin’ for her. I tried to put on my best grumpy-scorned-man face, but my gut was doin’ backflips. Then she kinda skipped up to me and threw her arms around my neck. Gave me a little peck on the cheek. I swear to god, I can still feel it. I was strugglin’, tryin’ to play my part, even though I was just mush in a dude-shaped container, so I asked her what kinda witchcraft she was usin’ on that old beater. She did her skippy thing over to the truck and flopped down the tailgate. Had a big ass fucking rock sittin’ in there, buncha writtin’ all over it. Then she holds up a finger like she's remembered somethin’ and starts rummagin’ around in the cab. Came back holdin’ a marker and wants me to sign the fucking rock. Lucifer himself couldn't have said no with all that beaming and with the dimples…. so I signed the rock. Real name and everything. Even drew a little Impala next to it ‘cause I never wanted this girl to forget me. I looked up and attempted the patented Dean Winchester Smolder, but it probably was more akin besotted puppy, and asked her if she wanted to claim her prize…

 

We were driving east and, out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of her sittin’ there in Sammy’s seat. Weirdly enough, it didn't seem wrong. In fact, it felt a whole lot better than not-wrong. Felt right somehow. Like the answer to a question I hadn't asked yet. I'm sure the grin on my face was humiliatingly gigantic. I asked her where she wanted to go. God, I woulda driven her anywhere. But she didn't want to go anywhere, she wanted to go to Bee Rock. So, dammit, that's where I took her. It took us a half hour. Winding up and around all these gorgeous chip and tar mountain roads with no lines. The whole drive she's just spoutin’ off info about elevation and history and wildlife with this awesome enthusiasm. Fuckin’ smart cookie. Reminded me of somebody else I knew. 

 

And then the road just stops. She looked at me and kinda clapped her hands in excitement, told me we had to walk the rest of the way. I stopped and grabbed a blanket from the trunk before we headed out. The trail was rough, I'm not gonna lie. There were rocks and boulders and tree roots stickin’ out every damn where. I knew cowboy boots weren't the best hiking gear, so I grabbed her hand and helped her down the steeper areas. Ok, ya got me, that's a fuckin’ lie. I feel like she probably hiked in cowboy boots every day of her life ‘cause she was like a deer or a ballerina or some other graceful shit. I just wanted to touch her, dammit. Not like bang her against a tree touch her just, ya know, like be in her space. Fuck you, I know I'm a sappy idiot, I'm just trying to get my point across here. Anyway, it's gonna get a lot worse because there were fireflies all in the trees and the crickets and frogs were all just singin’ their little hearts out and, well, if I hadn't believed in magic already I would have that night. 

 

So, we finally get to this Bee Rock, and I understand fully and whole heartedly why she wanted to bring me here. It's breathtaking. Unlike her, I don't know exactly how far we can see, but it goes on forever. I mean, I've seen a whole damn lot of this country and this place beat everywhere else by about a million times. She took the blanket from me and spread it on this big rock outcropping and sat down, patted the ground beside her. I sat down and she snuggled up beside me. Felt like I won the goddamn lottery. We just sat there like that for a while, quiet. And then I started talkin’. I don't know why, other than I just needed to. Or was supposed to. At any rate, I completely spilled my guts. Told her about what happened to Mom and about dad and his never ending quest for revenge. How I tried my best to help him. How hard it was to keep going sometimes. About my Sammy and how I loved him and how he left me. I poured my heart out, man. I told her every fuckin’ thing. Things I haven't told anybody before or since. I might have cried a little. Might have. And do you know what that amazing woman did? She fuckin’ hugged me. She looked at me like everything I had told her was perfectly normal and she explained to me, with perfect psychological terminology, why people sometimes act like they do. And, fuck me runnin’, if it didn't make sense. I don't think that I can accurately explain to you the weight that this tiny little eighteen year old girl had lifted from my shoulders. Honestly, the only explanation that I have ever been able to come up with for why I ever even met her and why I was given this particular night is that she had to have been a gift. From the universe, from Chuck, I don't know, but that girl was a gift. She looked at me with her big soft eyes all full of understanding and love and I had to ask her, ‘Can I touch you?’ She smiled this big, beautiful, open hearted smile and reached out and brushed my jaw and I was lost, man. Just absolutely all the way lost. 

 

I'll admit that I'm an experienced man. Ya know, in the bedroom. Insert waggily eyebrows here. But this was different. And, I swear I didn't know. Not until it was far too late. I didn't know it was her first time. When I realized, though, some kinda understanding washed over me. I was awed and humbled by everything that this amazing, beautiful, smart, loving girl had given me. She gave me everything she had, man. Made me feel like I was worthy of it. More than that. I don't wanna sound like a chick or anything, but it felt like the whole world was just the two of us. It felt right in a way that nothing has since. When I took her back to that old green Dodge Ram, just as the sun was coming up, I kissed her. And I thanked her. I've always hoped that she understood, at least a little, the peace that she gave me. I watched her drive away and then I went back to the motel. 

 

To say dad was angry woulda been one hell of an understatement. Let's just say the shiner I sported for the next week matched the one the shifter had given dad when he had to gank it by himself that night. We left that morning and I never saw her again. Thought about her, though. In all my darkest moments. She doesn't know it, probably never will, but she helped me stay on that rack in Hell for thirty years, helped me say no to Michael, helped me not to just give up and find out what happens when you die in Purgatory. No, she’ll never know, but she's been there with me through everything. All I gotta do is picture that little toot toot! And and that wave she did with the waggily fingers. I fuckin’ smile, man. Ear to ear. Every time. 

 

Anyway, it's been twenty seven goddamn years. Saved the world how many times now? Hung with God, the Devil, the Darkness. Fucking demons and angels and prophets and reapers and everything in between. I think we truly did it this time, though. Me and Sammy. God, how I miss my brother. Cancer, can you believe it? And after everything this world has thrown at us? Salad boy at that. Took him eight months ago. That's why I think it's really over this time. He didn't come back. We've never really been sick, ya know. Like, not-supernatural-sick. It's been hard for me to come to terms with, I won't lie. I spent a few months trying to speed up the process for myself. Booze. Driving too fast. Jay walking. Yeah, I know it's lame. Since all the creepy crawly stuff went away it's hard to accidentally have an accident. Cas got his fluttery ass down here, though, and told me it's not my time yet. Said Sam is waiting for me and watching me. There's something else I gotta do. And that I'm not supposed to screw this up. Goddamn vague ass angel. It's been weeks and I don't know what to do, no guidance from the god squad. But every night I dream about an old green truck with missing paint and the girl who drove it….,

 

I'm crazy. I know I'm crazy. Does that make it better or worse? Twenty seven years and here I am drivin’ up this winding mountain road that I've been cruisin’ in my head for so long. They've widened it now. Painted the yellow and white lines. It's different, but feels the same. I can almost see her sittin’ over there in Sam’s seat, rattlin’ off statistics I didn't know that I wanted to know. I pass a sign: Roadhouse .4 miles. Good. I'm gonna need a fuckin’ drink for this. 

 

And there it is. That motherfucking Dodge. She never even fixed the paint job. I park and get out. Gotta make sure, man. So I walk over and peer into the bed. I'll be damned. Ain't no other truck totin’ around a rock with my name on it. She's here. I gotta take a minute. Ok. Here we go, moment of truth. The bar is dark and some fuckhead reject is playing Patsy on the jukebox. It takes my eyes a minute to adjust. And then I see her. She's sittin’ at the bar. Her head is resting on her crossed arms and, I swear I can see her body trying to hold back sobs. I wonder how long she's been drinking and listening to Crazy. That'll get anybody. She's still wearing her cowboy boots and jeans, hair still floppin’ everywhere. A little gray running through to match mine. All the atoms in   
my body want to run to her and scoop her up in my arms. I want to get down on my knees and beg her to stay with me for the rest of my life. That might be a bit much, though. Instead I opt to get her attention by offering to buy her a drink. 

 

“Can I get you another…”

 

And her head flies up. Goddamn. Those huge beautiful eyes all wet with tears. I swallow the lump in my throat. And then she fuckin’ smiles. Ear to ear. “Dean?” I think my heart might just leave my body it's beatin’ so hard. There's nothin’ more I have ever wanted in this world than to touch her right now. My wish is granted when she throws herself into my arms. Damn near knocks the breath out of me. It's wonderful. 

 

A little while later she slides into Sam’s old seat for the second time. I crank the engine and look over at her. Never have I seen another human being look so goddamn happy. The smile on her face could melt Hell itself. My heart feels lighter than it ever has. I catch a glance of myself in the rear view mirror and, fuck, if her smile isn't contagious, ‘cause there it is, right on my face too. Can't decide if I wanna laugh or cry. 

 

“What now?” She asks me. 

 

I think for a minute and then rev the engine…

 

“Anything, sweetheart. Anything we want.” I pull out of the gravel parking lot and beep the horn. Toot toot!


End file.
